Washi Love!

Since buying my Erin Condren Life Planner in December, I have amassed a ridiculously large collection of Washi tape. Since I have spent way to much money on washi, I feel like I have to figure out ways to use it beyond just using it in my planner. Here are a couple of projects I have done recently!

Washi Family Hands Wall Hanging

Washi wood box
I use this to hold my pens and misc. stuff on the side table in my living room

 

It's only 2pm?

Time goes by especially slow when you are watching for the mail to come. 

This quote is so true and I have been trying to keep this in mind when I start getting antsy for things to happen.

 "the days crawl by, but the years, they fly"

Things are moving forward!

We finally have an autism eval scheduled for late March and it also looks like we should be starting OT the last week of February or the first week of March. This weeks speech appointment went so well it was amazing! Pitters was in a great mood and attempted to say 3 words- dot dot dot (while making paint dots), shh, and off. This was the first time that her speech therapist had heard any attempt at vocalization from her and it was her 6th appointment. Our Family support specialist from family outreach was observing the session so maybe she just felt the need to show off.

School is in full swing and I think I may have bitten off more than I could chew with these online classes right now but I'm just trying to take it day by day. Then our 6 month old laptop died yesterday, motherboard fried! Wtf! Thankfully my brother was able to pull all my documents and pictures off the hard drive. I had just uploaded 7 gigs of pictures a few days before and then deleted them off my phone. I would have had a breakdown if I lost all those pictures...it was all the pictures I've taken since my Little Bug was born. Had to get a new computer which is unfortunate for my wallet.

This is harder than I thought

I am really struggling lately with the idea that Pitters has autism or other developmental delays. Its very clear that something isn't right, we just are in the dark on what it is at this point. It's not the diagnosis that is difficult, but rather the questions of what will be best for our future and best for her. If she is diagnosed with Autism, the best thing for her would be for us to move to Seattle so she can attend the specialized school for autism that her cousin attends. I love seattle but not enough to live there and financially the whole thing could be a disaster. I hear so many stories of schools failing when it comes to kids with disabilities and I don't want my daughter to be in this situation. I want the best life for her and the best chances at reaching her true potential. 

I am definitely struggling with guilt as well. I feel like I failed her. After she was born I definitely went through some difficulties where I just was not attached to her the way I had been to Churro. I would go days without holding her. We were working opposite shifts to keep the kids out of daycare and I think that while it "worked"...it was really to her detriment. We failed her. Can it be made up now? Is it to late? 

I wish I has some answers

Beautiful silence...or is it?

Some days it seems like I wait all day to put these girls to bed and get just a moment of silence to myself. Then It happens and I enjoy it for only a few minutes before I start to miss them so much that I want to wake them up just to snuggle them.

 I wonder if this is normal or the result of wanting a baby for so long and having to wait, worry and give up hope before being so lucky to have them...? I don't really know. I am long past graduated from infertility, yet I think it still affects every thing we do in our lives. It seeps into every interaction I have with my babies- I cuddle them a little longer, kiss them a little more often, spoil them a tiny bit more rotten, and cherish them more than I would have if becoming a mother had come more easily to me. I guess tonight I am just feeling so lucky to be here where I am when there are so many women still fighting for this feeling. 

Happy New Year!

I am not much into resolutions, knowing that the statistics are not at all great that anyone will actually follow through with them. With that in mind, I like to make some goals instead...

1. Work on being healthier. This isn't focused on losing weight, but rather improvement in quality of life. Over the years of having a desk job amongst other lifestyle choices, my flexibility has gotten really bad and I have decreased range of motion in one shoulder. So I want to continue stretching daily and trying to improve those issues.

2. I do not want to be pregnant this year. I know that is a strange resolution but I really feel like I want a 4th baby. BUT I want to make sure that things are on track for Pitters before we add more to our plate. Plus maybe by then I will feel like our family really is complete. After waiting so long for our babies, I feel like I just want to surround myself with them. Plus they are so cute!! Anyways, I have been pregnant for part of each year for the past 5 years. It's time to give my body and mind a little break.

3. I want to get better at sticking to our budget and do less shopping. Honestly, we have so much STUFF already. Also we break the bank by eating out more than we should as well, so that also falls into the getting healthier category.

Anyways...:Happy New Year! What are your goals this year? 

Things my 3 year old says!

This girl is going to grow up to be a comedian. 

"I'm a poooooodle"

This is a "slip and slide" that she built and then she turned to me and said "Doesn't this look so slippin fun?"

She helped decorate this stocking for Pitters and then said "there is a kid holding poop on a rope on Hattie's stocking"

She just told me "I liked getting out of your belly. I want to do it again tomorrow"

Sometimes she doesn't even need to say a word...the facial expression says it all

I love this little girl and the person she is growing up to be.