Saturday, July 13, 2013

This is why I can't sleep at night

I'm trying to sleep but that is failing pretty miserably because I have to much on my mind.

1. I feel all crawly because there was a bug on me. I thought it was a fly until it hovered in my peripheral vision and then ended up on my shoulder. I'm pretty sure that it was a spider that lowered itself from the ceiling. I brushed it away but I don't know where it ended up *shudder*

2. I hate that some people don't think it's possible for two passionate adults with differing opinions to have a discussion about things. You are automatically arguing if you don't agree with them. I consider it arguing when one or more of those involved resort to name calling or putting someone down for their differing opinion.

3. Sometimes at night I get this extreme feeling of loneliness and an urge to snuggle my girls. I feel tempted to wake them up just for a hug and kiss but of course I resist. It's nights like this where that feeling is really strong.

4. I hate when it feels like the justice system has failed. 

5. I'm lonely at night when I'm alone. I prefer to go to sleep to the sound of my husband playing his video game or even snoring  already in my bed. I wish he didn't have to work nights to make things work....hopefully it is less than one year until this is no longer necessary. 

6. I wish I could let go of the guilt I feel about leaving my job soon. It's bad timing- things are in an uproar right now, I know one of my coworkers is probably leaving at the same time as I am and we had a hard enough time filling the empty position we JUST had. I feel a lot of loyalty to my boss, she is a great supervisor which is something that I know is hard to find. I just can't afford childcare for 3 kids and my kids deserve my time and attention. I just wish I could get it over with.

7. I hope things work out financially for this next year with my husband in RN school. We just have to stick to our budget and have things fall into place at the right time as they should. Fingers crossed. 

I just need to remember that we are setting ourselves up to have a great future for ourselves and our kids. 


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