I am really struggling lately with the idea that Pitters has autism or other developmental delays. Its very clear that something isn't right, we just are in the dark on what it is at this point. It's not the diagnosis that is difficult, but rather the questions of what will be best for our future and best for her. If she is diagnosed with Autism, the best thing for her would be for us to move to Seattle so she can attend the specialized school for autism that her cousin attends. I love seattle but not enough to live there and financially the whole thing could be a disaster. I hear so many stories of schools failing when it comes to kids with disabilities and I don't want my daughter to be in this situation. I want the best life for her and the best chances at reaching her true potential.
I am definitely struggling with guilt as well. I feel like I failed her. After she was born I definitely went through some difficulties where I just was not attached to her the way I had been to Churro. I would go days without holding her. We were working opposite shifts to keep the kids out of daycare and I think that while it "worked"...it was really to her detriment. We failed her. Can it be made up now? Is it to late?
I wish I has some answers
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